The adoption coordinator for the country we'll be adopting from emailed me today. Mainly she wanted to make sure we were aware that there may be some unknown issues that will/could come up with our child. Emotional issues that an older child may have as well as some medical concerns because there just aren't a lot of medical resources available from the country we're adopting from.
Honestly, we know that this is not going to be easy. Not only are we going to be meeting and welcoming a new child into our home through adoption. But, we realize she will have lots of issues to deal with starting with the fact she looks different than her parents and it could add up to attachment issues, past abuse issues, medical problems inherited by parents, etc. We've been aware of that since we started talking about adopting way back in our college days.
Anyway, so my head started spinning and I (Satan) really started questioning if we were doing the right thing by adopting. The "what ifs..." attacked. I started to allow myself to sink and think too much about the "what ifs" (which most of my friends know I'm really good at doing).
I was keeping a friend's baby son today while she had the lovely three hour glucose test to take and as I rocked him (after Liam woke him up pitching a fit) trying to get him back to sleep, I was praying that God show me clearly if we were heading in the direction He wanted us to go through this whole adoption. Then I remembered when we felt God calling us to start this whole process. I was sure it was from Him. He also reminded me of His Sovereign Grace. How He will bring us the child He wants for our family and show us clearly. I worry about my mistakes, but God reminded me that He doesn't make mistakes and to just trust Him. Ughh, do you know how hard it is for controlling little me to let go? This is something God works with me on everyday. However, as He spoke to my heart, I felt such a peace about our adoption and His will. And if we are not already equipped to handle whatever our adopted child comes with (medical or physical or emotional baggage), I know God will provide what we need. We are so blessed with a good support team to begin with and can not wait to see how He will teach, lead, and use us in the life of our adopted child.