Another Rotten Brother...

**Warning:  Controversial Post Ahead**

I went back to look at the video of our first ultrasound and the title above were the exact words the technician used to tell us (including Zoe) that we were having another boy.  I tried to say, before she announced it this way, "Oh, look Zoe another baby boy!"  But she "corrected" me with the statement above.  I cringe when I see the video.  The way she said it and her continued attitude about boys in general is not something we want to convey to Zoe nor the rest of our children nor do we wish to hear (but she shared...and continued to share anyway).  Nor is it something we want to show him when he gets older ("Look dear...here's a video of when we found out you were a 'rotten' boy.").

We've had a few friends and acquaintances make remarks that seem to lead to the belief that I am not excited to be having "another boy." 

Maybe my enthusiasm hasn't shown as much.  Not sure how or why.  I've been intentional about being excited about another little one.  Both for my sake and for the sake of my child.  I, in no way, am not thrilled that we are expecting another little blessing from God. 

We also know that God is Sovereign and He is the one that orchestrates the family.  It's His final say in what our family needs in terms of a child and sibling.  We didn't agree with God that our family would be open to more children if we did not want or would not be excited about a boy.  We could have easily said (like so many today), "Well, nope, we're not going to have any more because we don't want to have a boy!"  We didn't even contemplate the issues of just as easily "getting rid" of the baby if it was a boy (an issue that so many believe they have a choice to make).  We believe that God knows what is best for our family.  And in His way, though we don't understand, He's given us the awesome and amazing responsibility to raise not one son but FOUR for His glory and Kingdom work.

You may also remember that I was not expecting this little one to stay with us for so long.  As I lay in bed last night, with Mark feeling, and me watching, little Bryant kick and wiggle (and it was late too), we talked about what a blessing it was that this little one was still here.  I never posted my fears on here, but I fully expected to go into our eight week ultrasound (with the low progesterone) and find out that he was no longer with us.  I didn't expect to hear his heartbeat strong and healthy at our 12 week ultrasound after being on progesterone and dealing with the hematoma scare.  I am thrilled each time I see our little one and realize that he is not only here...but that he is healthy and growing (and extremely active).  We know all too well that our little ones are each precious and valuable (whether they are boys or girls).  We've experienced the loss of a child in utero and we've watched as families have had to say goodbye to their children (some at the ripe old age of two months or less). Why would be any less thrilled that God chose us to be parents to six beautiful children just because we were having "another boy?"

Mark and I just have issues with the way children are viewed today. Add to that the view of men and boys....well, it's no wonder that we have to be intentional about our excitement of little boys.  If you aren't sure what I'm talking about...here's some examples.

Moms complain that they can't dress their little boys as cute as girls (and I've done this before)...so, therefore, girls are easier and more welcomed.  I've even heard a mom say that she'd rather have a girl solely based on this (while she may not have really felt that way...that was what she was conveying to those around her).

Then continue on and switch on the television...women are told all over sitcoms, reality shows and the like, that men are stupid, useless without women, and have no clue how to do anything except watch television and drink beer.  Mark and I realized this early in our marriage and have had to make conscious decisions not to watch shows that were demeaning men.  Not to get legalistic...this has been our choice to turn off these shows (and commercials...and there are quite a few), because we noticed when we watched these shows, our attitudes changed...mine especially changed toward how I treated Mark.  As I became a mom, first to a daughter and then to sons, I realized that I don't want my children to grow up to have this worldview.

This view has also penetrated the church.  Men are to sit back and watch and are not forced to participate in any needed/given area.  They've been babied into thinking they aren't needed and the women have stepped over them (and sometimes on them) to make headway in leadership positions.  The majority of volunteers in the church are the women (and in our church it's just as true...even as our pastor and other ministers encourage the men to step up)...so, we've allowed this demeaning and undermining worldview of men to invade the church.  Of course, women are at fault too...becoming overly willing to jump in and do something and being extremely vocal about it not even giving the men the chance because (as the secular worldview wants us to believe) "they can't do it anyway."  Woman after woman in the church has been heard downgrading and complaining about her husband and all he does or doesn't do (not in a counseling session but in a hallway).  And yes, I've been there too and have to watch my words very carefully to keep from falling into this trap.

And so, we embark on this journey of raising four sons in the total opposite direction of our church and society.  It's a thrilling and crazy adventure and no where do I see a child sitting, left alone, to be "rotten" like a piece of fruit!  We take raising children seriously and boys even more seriously (Sons are a heritage from the Lord...Psalm 127:3a).  We aren't raising them to be functional idiots in society (harsh words but look at the secular worldview of men...seriously).  We are raising our boys to be men in the Lord.  We work hard at turning their hearts and attitudes to Christ so that they will grow up to be leaders, spiritually and otherwise, in their home, society and the church.  This requires a constant heart and attitude change in me to be intentional in teaching our sons what it means for a woman to respect and love and support her husband and the men in her life.  And Mark faces the awesome responsibility of leading these boys to know what a "real" man is in Christ so he can send them out as "arrows" (or ballistic missiles as he says) to share Christ's love .

It's been a long time since I've written a deep post (and probably even longer since I've written a controversial one), but I needed to get this out so that I didn't explode :)  Just kidding!  I really wanted to share how precious each of our blessing are and how thrilled we are to have yet another healthy little baby.

Yesterday, I was blessed to be a "model" to allow a friend from church to practice doing later ultrasounds/getting measurements to determine due date and such.  She volunteers at a care pregnancy center in our area and they do these to help moms see that they are carrying life.  Anyway...I couldn't resist.  I had to share some more pictures of Bryant!

He opened and closed his eyes for us!  And he did his mouth too.  His eyes are closed here.

And look at that leg!!!  He's got some meat on him!  The sonographer commented that she just wanted to squeeze that little thigh!  I agree!  It's too sweet not to.  Sorry about the "graphicness" of the picture but I couldn't resist that leg (and probably only those who have seen ultrasounds know what I'm talking about and don't care)!